A Spot of Detective Work
by ActualAnemone
Summary: Skulduggery and Valkyrie go to a certain magical school to investigate strange happenings. The Doctor and Clara just happen to be doing the same thing. BTW: This is also a Harry Potter fanfic.
1. Chapter 1: Mail

Hey **people! This is going to be a quadruple crossover. It'll be Harry Potter, Skulduggery Pleasant and Doctor Who for now, but I will merge Fantastic Beasts in later ;)**

 **Peace out, DaFartingUnicorn49**

Prolouge

The lights went out. "Doctor?" Clara called. "What's happening?" She heard the nervous tone in his voice. "I don't know." He answered. The soft lights of the TARDIS flickered back on. The was a statue. Standing at the door. It's mouth wide open, but smiling. "Is it...laughing?" Clara questioned cautiously. "I...I think so." The Doctor grinned, pulling his sonic screwdriver into a full scan. "I've never seen anything like it! It's time energy is completely reversed and it's certainly quite happy about it." He continued probing and prodding. Clara rolled her eyes. "Can you give me a clue as to what this thing is?"

"It's a Weeping Angel. I think." He answered. Clara frowned. "It doesn't look like a weeping angel. It looks like a happy angel. A Laughing Angel."

"That is a good name." The Doctor told her.

She grinned. "I pride myself on being absolutely brilliant." She answered. He grinned back. "I'm pretty sure that's my job."

"Anyway," Clara sighed. "Enough talk! Let's get this thing out of here." The Doctor made a sad face. "But I wanted to study it." He whined. Clara smiled internally. She knew how to deal with this. "But you don't want to hurt the poor Snogbox, do you?" The TARDIS made an whirling noise. That was the first time she had actually agreed with Clara. "See," Clara smiled sweetly. "Even Old Snoggy agrees with me." The Doctor gave a long sigh. "Fine. I guess that is a miracle. We'll dropped her off in 1926, New York." Clara cocked her head to the side. "Why so specific?" She questioned. "Something big happened. I can't remember what though. No one can. That's what's so big about it. If I drop her off here she might just be lost, with a time incident this big." He pulled a lever and pressed a button. And off they went through time and space. Clara watched nervously as the lights flickered on and off, on and off. Each time the Angel got closer and closer, it's mouth widening each time. She grabbed the Doctor's hand and squeezed. "Hurry!" She whispered. "I'm going as fast as I possibly can." He mumbled. She tightened her grip on his , the TARDIS jerked sideways and the doors flew open. Clara slipped. "Grab on to something!" The Doctor yelled as they began to slide out the door. He grabbed a rail and she grabbed his hand and before they knew it, they were dangling upside down. But the Angel put up a fight. It stuck to the ground for a few seconds, before it tumbled out into 1920's New York. Clara gave a sigh of relief as the TARDIS closed it's doors and spun till it was the right way up. Clara sighed in relief again and was just about to sit down when an alarm sounded and the TARDIS spun out of control again. Clara yelled in surprise. "What is it now?!" She shouted over the alarm. The Doctor checked the TARDIS's control screen. Then he smiled. "WHAT?" Clara roared over the loud clatter of the alarm. He looked at her. "I've got mail!" He grinned excitedly.

Valkyrie Cain mumbled in her sleep. She tossed and turned for a bit, before waking up in cold sweat. Another nightmare. Well, that was the price of going out and saving the world nearly every day. She sighed and checked the time 4:30 am. Great. She got up and pulled on the black clothes Ghastly made her. Skulduggery would be there at five anyway. She grabbed a few random clothes and the essentials. Toothbrush, toothpaste, hairbrush. She tied her hair into a ponytail and tapped the mirror. The reflection stepped out of the mirror, staring blankly at Valkyrie. Valkyrie nodded and it nodded back. "I'll look after them." It whispered. She nodded again and checked the time. 5:06. She saluted the reflection before jumping out her bedroom window.

The sleek, black Bentley was parked round the corner. Valkyrie shoved her small duffle bag in the boot and climbed into the car that she had grown to love almost as much as Skulduggery. Skulduggery tapped his watch. "7 minutes late, Valkyrie. That is totally unacceptable." He told her. She glared at him and he chuckled. "Now Detective Cain," he scolded playfully. "There is no need for such rudeness." She smiled slightly. "Where are we going again?" She questioned. "Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. Something strange is happening with the wizards, so when the headmaster sent out a job ad, I applied." Skulduggery explained. Valkyrie raised an eyebrow. "So, what are we teaching?"

"Well, as they are apparently going through 'dangerous times' so their 'Ministry of Magic' applied a special extra Defence Against the Dark Arts program that is compulsory for years four and up."

"Is a Ministry of Magic like the Sanctuary?" Valkyrie questioned. Skulduggery nodded.

They drove on. Valkyrie occasionally complained and Skulduggery would pretend to be annoyed and tell her to shush. But then he would do what she wanted anyway. They drove for about eight hours before they came to Kings Cross Station. They jumped out and grabbed their bags from the boot. Valkyrie rolled her eyes as Skulduggery gave his car one last pat, but she knew she would miss it too. Then, they trudged into the station.

A small, skinny boy pushed a large trolley towards platforms nine and ten. His snow-white owl made no noise as he chattered with a freckled, red haired boy, a girl with bushy, brown hair and a young, freckled girl, also with red hair. They trailed behind two ginger-haired people. A man and a woman. They arrived at the wall between platforms nine and ten. The parents went first, plunging through the magical wall. The two girls went next and then the boys looked at each, grinned and went straight through the red brick.

Harry Potter looked up at the large steam train in front of him. He sighed happily. Finally, he was going back to his most favourite place in the world. Hogwarts. "Hurry up, you two!" Hermione hurriedly told them. "We're going to miss the train."

"Ok, ok we're coming." Ron assured. "Bloody hell. Come on, mate." Harry ran after Ron, towards the others. "There you are!" Mrs Weasley exclaimed. "We thought we'd lost you!" They all exchanged goodbyes and jumped on the train. The walked down for a while before finding an empty booth. Ron put all their bags up as the Hogwarts Express gave a final toot before taking off. Harry watched and waved to Mr and Mrs Weasley until the train rounded the corner.


	2. Chapter 2: Bored

**Hello people. Chapter One! Finally. Sorry got caught up with school and stuff. Hope you like it. If you read, pls comment. I will accept constructive criticism but no straight out hate. Llllllllllama banana karma diorama drama!**

 **Thanks!**

 **Peace :)**

Chapter 1. Bored

Valkyrie was bored out of her brain. What was she supposed to do for seven long hours? Stare at the wall? She sighed. "I'm bored." She interrupted Skulduggery. He was meditating and was not happy to be woken up. "Well, go talk to some people." Skulduggery suggested. "Just leave me be. I've got meditation to catch up on."

"Catch up? You've been meditating loads the last few days." Valkyrie exclaimed. Skulduggery put a finger on his teeth. "Shush." He said simply. She rolled her eyes and stepped out into the corridor. She walked along for a while before coming to a food trolley. "Anything from the trolley dear?" The old woman pushing the lolly-covered trolley asked her. "Um, can I have one of those?" Valkyrie questioned cautiously pointing to a chocolate. "One chocolate frog. Anything else?" The old witch asked. "No thank you." Valkyrie replied as the woman gave her the treat. Valkyrie thanked her and strode back to her booth. Until she stopped upon hearing an argument in the booth next door. She knew she wasn't supposed to listen, but she was so bored and had nothing better to do. "But if we used the TARDIS we would have been there three hours ago." A male voice whined. "It's rude to just show up Doctor. That's why we took the train." A strong female voice answered back. "Yeah, but why did she have to go in baggage. It smells like teenage pimples in there." Valkyrie could almost see the woman rolling her eyes. "Well, she couldn't come in the booth with us. Snoggy wouldn't fit."

"That's mean Clara."

"How do you know? Maybe she likes being called a Snogbox."

The two burst into uncontrollable laughter. Valkyrie thought this was a slightly strange conversation to have but she had seen and heard stranger. She stopped listening in to next door and entered her own booth. Skulduggery had finished meditating and was flicking through a book. "Whatcha reading?" Valkyrie asked. "Summer Falls." Skulduggery replied. "Oh, could I have that after you. I've been trying to borrow that from the library, but I lost my library card."

"Sure."

Valkyrie grinned as she opened her chocolate. She ripped the box open, preparing for a tasty treat. As soon as the box was open though something leaped out. It landed on Skulduggery's book and he screeched. Valkyrie came and flicked it of the book and out of the window. "Well," breathed Valkyrie. "That was unexpected." Then she grinned. "You screamed." She told Skulduggery. " No I didn't." He replied. "You did. You squealed like a pig on pork day." Valkyrie teased him. He sighed and probably would have rolled his eyes if he had any. Valkyrie smiled wide. This seven hours wasn't going to be boring as she expected.

"Only three more hours." Clara told the Doctor, who was not good at being patient. "If we had taken the TARDIS it would only have taken ten seconds." The Doctor grumbled. "Let's not start this again." Clara decided and then she got up. "I'm going to see if there's any food on the train. You. Stay. Put."

The Doctor sighed. "Why can't I come?"

"You're too annoying." Clara said, finalising the situation. "You stay, I go. Got it?"

The Doctor slumped in his comfortable train couch. "Fine. Hurry up."

Clara smiled her lovely smile. "See ya soon." She grinned. Then she left.

Wow, he was bored. How was he expected to spend seven hours sitting on this couch and waiting till they got there? That was pretty much impossible. He turned around so that he was lying upside down. He needed a fez. Fezzes were cool. A fez would be sure to brighten up the mood. But he didn't have a fez. So that idea didn't work. Maybe he could get school robes. Robes were cool. They were all floaty and felt a dressing gown. He would probably ask the headmaster for some when they got there. Or maybe he could go talk to some students or fellow staff. Maybe they would know what a 'muggle' was. He was, after all, teaching a subject called Muggle Studies and he still had no idea what it was. He had told Clara it was a type of magical goat that he knew all about. She didn't really believe him, but she didn't question further. He had tried Googling it but it just came up with Mind Juggling: The virtual video game.

The booth door slid open and Clara walked in holding a box of Jellybeans. "They're Every Flavour Beans, Doctor. So there are still the normal flavours but there are added ones. Like grass, or earthworm." Clara explained. He looked at them curiously. Clara shook the box. "Try one." She said, picking one and dropping it in her mouth. "Mmm. Candy Floss." She sighed. He picked one up cautiously and stuffed it into his mouth. He chewed for a bit before making a face and shaking his head. Clara laughed at his strange reaction. He gulped it down and shuddered. "Vomit." He spat as he wiped his tongue clean before cleansing it with water. Clara couldn't help it. She burst into hysterical laughter. "Alright, it's not that funny." He frowned. She just pointed at him and laughed. "This is going to be a long two hours." The Doctor sighed.

"Seriously Harry. Again." Hermione sighed. "For the last time, Draco Malfoy is not a death eater. I mean, I know he's shallow, but he's not that shallow."

"It just fits though." Harry argued. "In Borgin and Burkes he was announced an official Death Eater and now he's going to get revenge for his father. "

"You're bonkers, mate." Ron told him. "Malfoy. A death eater? I mean seriously. Why would You-Know-Who hire him? He is as useful as the gnomes in our back garden."

Harry shrugged. "I'm just saying, that's what it looked like."

His best friends sighed, knowing he would continue arguing about this all year.

"You two better change into your robes. We'll be there soon." reminded Hermione, who had changed into hers the moment they boarded the train. "Ok. Fine." Harry sighed. "Ron, you coming?"

"Nah. I think I'll go tell people off." Harry's best friend replied.

"Your loss." Harry told him.

Harry grabbed his school robes and climbed out of the booth, closing the sliding door behind him. Harry rushed to the bathroom and hurriedly changed. He was heading for Malfoy's booth, clutching the dark stone Fred and George had given him when he heard a strange conversation. "Do you even know how to teach wizard Defence?" A girl's voice asked. "Nope. I'll just teach them to punch and tell them they're doing a good job." A velvety Irish voice replied. "I don't think that'll work." The girl told him. "It will work. Just watch." The man said, sounding assuring. "It will work."

Harry shook his head. It was just some new teachers. They were probably joking around. He wrapped his invisibility cloak around himself and took a deep breath as he chucked the Peruvian Instant Darkness stone inside Malfoy's booth. Everyone yelled and coughed and waved their hands around, until the thick, black smoke evaporated. Then Harry slipped in.


End file.
